BellaOnline's Missing and Exploited Children Editor
One can only wish that abuse could end for all time. If you are in the position of being trusted by someone to hear their story, this I hope can guide you through this very difficult time.
Susan Reinhardt
April 6, 2008 12:15 am
One afternoon my daughter came home from school talking about a little boy in her class who was covered in thick scars.
“His mama threw him into a glass table,” she said. “Now he lives with his grandmother.”
This boy, as horrible as his situation, was one of the luckier ones in North Carolina, where more than 100,000 children are reported abused and neglected each year. As a nation, that number jumps to 5 million cases.
According to Prevent Child Abuse North Carolina, 4,000 of these children live in Buncombe County.
A couple of months ago, I was asked by the CEO of Child Abuse Prevention Services Inc. to serve on its board. The goal of the group is to reduce this tragic crime and to strengthen and make families better through all sorts of measures including prevention, education and counseling.
Bill McGuire, head of the nonprofit, along with board members and volunteers, are doing all they can to enlighten the population and prevent our kids from going through physical, sexual, even verbal abuse and neglect.
While April is officially Child Abuse Prevention Month, every day, every moment should be one of stopping these horrific incidents.
The abuse is so bad here, the Child Health Report Card from the N.C. Child Advocacy Institute gave North Carolina D’s and F’s in child abuse and neglect, stating if it were a communicable disease, it would be declared an epidemic.
Research from Prevent Child Abuse North Carolina shows 1 out of 5 children will be abused, half younger than 6. Most tragically is that four children will die every day from abuse, often preventable through education, counseling and personal safety programs.
One afternoon, my daughter, having recently heard the prevention program in school, proved these outreach measures are working. She was acting up, and my temper began rising.
“OK,” I said, “If this behavior doesn’t stop immediately I’m going to have to spank you.” The words flew out of my mouth.
“You can’t spank me. We learned no hitting in school,” my daughter said.
I wasn’t really going to spank her; it was simply an expression I’d heard most of my life. The fact is, my parents spanked my sister and me. It was the way of the parental world in the ’50s and ’60s.
But that was then.
It can’t be that way now. Too often spankings and corporal punishment go hand-in-hand with scorching anger that leads to violent, even deadly actions.
On a brighter note, McGuire said plenty of success stories have resulted from Child Abuse Prevention Services here in Asheville.
One of those involves an 8-year-old boy whose mother’s boyfriend shoved him into a clothes dryer. This same child witnessed the boyfriend shoot himself in the head.
“(He) came here depressed and sad and now comes skipping and smiling,” McGuire said of the results from counseling sessions at the center. “The children are truly getting help, have hope, and the opportunity to reach their potential.”
This is what every child should have.
They need their parents’ unconditional love and attention, not just a TV shoved in their faces. They crave kind words pouring from their parents’ lips, not screams and vicious put-downs.
They are entitled to a childhood free from cruelty in any form.
This is the opinion of Susan Reinhardt. Contact her at sreinhardt@CITIZEN-TIMES.com
Societal Violence Is Linked to Animal Cruelty And Child Abuse
Target: U.S. House of Representatives
Sponsored by: American Humane Association
The Link® between child abuse and animal cruelty, as well as other forms of societal violence is internationally recognized, yet so much more can and must be done to address this disturbing connection.
With the support of Congresswoman Susan Davis (D-CA), American Humane recently filed a Resolution in the House of Representatives that would designate September 2008 as Link Awareness Month.
Representative Davis has a reputation as a powerful advocate of child and animal advocate and a longstanding member of the Congressional Friends of Animals Caucus. The resolution was filed with 13 original co-sponsors.
H.R. 1046 is currently pending before the House Judiciary Committee, and American Humane is working to move the Resolution to a House vote before September.
STOP THE ABUSE
WARNING
~ Angels that Care ~ ~ Angels that Care ~
Little Children
I pray for the little children in the world who are being abused, I say a prayer to God to keep all of you safe.
I ask God to protect you and to give you peace. I pray for you to feel peace and love from God. I pray to God to put all of you in a loving home. I pray to God to bring someone in your life to help you.
You are special in God’s eyes and in my eyes. Your are always loved.
God bless you.
To read a story about a little girl who was abused click or copy and paste this link into your browser.
It is fiction but taken from what happened to me and changed a bit.
Pattsy and Patty
Senate Bill 1738—The PROTECT Our Children Act
Freaked out
ACTUAL EXPERIENCE OF A MEMBER OF ATC
So, I’m standing at the bus stop with the kids this morning when something strange occurred. We have to meet at the end of our hill which is next to a busy road w/35 mph speed set. I make my kids sit in the truck with me till the bus comes as it’s just too dangerous. Out of nowhere I see this beat-up, old, white oldsmobile drive by me and go up the hill to my subdivision. I’d never seen the car before and thought it odd besides I thought he was going fairly fast. He comes back down, makes a quick right and then turns left in the subdivision across the street. He drives around there, comes out and goes on. I thought, “What is he doing or looking for?” So I asked the neighboring cars of parents if they thought it suspicious and they agreed. So I came home and get online to sexual offenders and I SEE HIM.
I am almost positive it was him. I am so freaked out.
Help for abused women and their children
My name is Chris,
I am three,
My eyes are swollen.
I cannot see.
I must be stupid,
I must be bad,
What else could have made,
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better,
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy,
Would still want to hug me.
I can't do a wrong,
I can't speak at all,
Or else I'm locked up,
All day long.
When I'm awake,
I'm all alone,
The house is dark,
My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come home,
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll just get,
One whipping tonight.
I just heard a car,
My daddy is back,
From Charlie's bar
I hear him curse,
My name is called,
I press myself
Against the wall.
I try to hide,
From his evil eyes,
I'm so afraid now,
I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping,
Calls me ugly words,
He says its my fault,
He suffers at work.
He slaps and hits me,
And yells at me more,
I finally get free,
And run to the door.
He's already locked it,
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me,
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor,
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues,
With more bad words spoken.
'I'm sorry!', I scream,
But it's now much to late,
His face has been twisted,
Into a unimaginable sh ape.
The hurt and the pain,
Again and again,
O please God, have mercy!
O please let it end!
And he finally stops,
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless,
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Chris,
I am three,
Tonight my daddy,
Murdered me.
And you can help,
Sickens me to the soul,
If you read this,
and don't pass it on.
I pray for your forgiveness,
You would have to be,
One heartless person,
Not to be affected,
By this Poem.
And because you ARE affected,
Do something about it!
So all I ask you to do,
Is pass this on!
IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE!
Post this as 'Daddy ... it hurts'
If you do not send this to everyone you know
Then you obviously don't care about child abuse.
At first I thought this was just a chain letter
and I wasn't going to send it either,
but now I realize that this is an important situation.
At least 5 children each day from around the world die
from child abuse .
Thank You St. Jude for your powerful and successful intercession .
Following are the major signs of physical, sexual, and emotional abuse and neglect. One of these, or even several in combination, may not indicate that abuse has occurred. They may indicate accidents or that other medical conditions, emotional illness, or problems exist. It is important to realize that that you do not have to make that determination. If you have any reason to suspect child abuse or neglect, it is best to report it to the appropriate agency so that they can provide whatever assistance is needed by the child and family.
Physical Abuse
Signs of Physical Abuse
Bruises, welts on face, neck, chest, back
Injuries in the shape of an object-belt, cord, iron
Unexplained burns on palms, soles, back
Fractures that do not fit story of injury
Delay in seeking medical help
Extremes in child's behavior-very aggressive or withdrawn and shy (unlike the child's typical behavior)
Afraid to go home
Frightened of parents/caregivers
Fearful of other adults
Consider the possibility of physical abuse if the child:
Has unexplained burns, bites, bruises, broken bones, or black eyes
Has fading bruises or other marks noticeable after being absent from school
Seems frightened of parents, afraid to go home
Shrinks at the approach of adults
Reports injury by a parent or other adult caregiver
Consider the possibility of physical abuse if the parent:
Has conflicting, unconvincing, or no explanation for the child's injury
Describes the child in a negative way
Uses harsh physical discipline with the child
Has a history of abuse as a child
Emotional Abuse
Signs of Emotional Abuse
Low self-esteem
Self-denigration
Severe depression
Aggression
Withdrawal
Severe anxiety
Failure to learn
Consider the possibility of emotional abuse if the child:
Shows extremes in behavior, either overly compliant or demanding, extreme passivity or aggression
Acts either inappropriately like an adult or inappropriately like a baby/younger child
Is delayed in physical or emotional development
Has attempted suicide
Reports a lack of attachment to the parent
Consider the possibility of emotional abuse if the parent or caregiver:
Constantly blames, belittles, or berates the child
Is unconcerned about the child and refuses to consider offers of help for the child's school problems
Overtly rejects the child
Sexual Abuse
Signs of Sexual Abuse
Pain, swelling, or itching in genital area
Bruises, bleeding, discharge in genital area
Difficulty walking or sitting, frequent urination
Stained or bloody underclothing
Sexually transmitted infections
Refusal to take part in gym or other exercises
Poor peer relationships
Unusual interest in sex for age, unusual knowledge of sex terminology
Drastic change in school achievement
Runaway or delinquent
Regressive or childlike behavior
Consider the possibility of sexual abuse if the child:
Has difficulty walking or sitting
Suddenly refuses to change for gym or to participate in physical activities
Demonstrates bizarre, sophisticated, or unusual sexual knowledge or behavior
Becomes pregnant or contracts a sexually transmitted infection
Runs away
Reports sexual abuse
Consider the possibility of sexual abuse if the parent:
Is overly protective of the child or severely limits the child's contact with other children, especially of the opposite sex
Is secretive and isolated
Describes marital difficulties involving family power struggles or sexual relations
Behaves in a sexual manner toward the child
Neglect
Signs of Neglect
Poor hygiene, body odor
Inappropriately dressed for weather
Needs medical or dental care
Left alone, unsupervised, for long periods of time (depending on child's age)
Failure to thrive, malnutrition
Constant hunger, begs or steals food
Extreme willingness to please
Frequent absence from school
Arrives early and stays late at school or play areas or other people's homes
Consider the possibility of neglect if the child:
Is frequently absent from school
Begs or steals food or money from classmates
Lacks needed medical or dental care, immunizations or glasses
Is consistently dirty and has severe body odor
Lacks appropriate clothing for the weather
Abuses alcohol or other drugs
States there is no one at home to take care of them
Consider the possibility of neglect if the parent:
Appears to be indifferent to the child
Seems apathetic or depressed
Behaves irrationally or in a bizarre manner
Abuses alcohol or drugs
Think Your Kid Is Not 'Sexting'? Think Again
